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Thursday, March 11th, 2010
12:00 am - Barbershop punk : )

Please watch this! :) This is a documentary trailer for a documentary that my dad started out as a participator but became the star! :)

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Friday, February 19th, 2010
10:00 pm - Xavier's ABC
Proud of him : )

Xavier singing the Alphabet song :)

current mood: thankful

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Sunday, February 14th, 2010
10:50 pm
I have decided, and spoken to an adviser about what I want my major to be. I am focusing on getting a degree to become a teacher, one who specializes in special Education.. So i am on my way - yay ... :) I think I can do a good job in the education world. I have patience, and an open-mind that I am sorry to say some of the people who deal with my kids don't have. :/

I am going to fax the medical records to Xavier's pediatrician, and his GI dr and see what they think about starting up the treatment based on the plan I had with his past immunologist. I opted for the every other month IVIM, cause I didn't think he needed something as evasive as IVIG every month. We'll see what they say. Maybe he'll actually get a referral this time.

I hope everyone had a good weekend, and a Happy Valentine's Day... we spent it home, sick. All four of us. It's been a blast. : P

Night all :) <3

current mood: groggy

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Thursday, February 11th, 2010
12:18 pm - IRRITATION!
I do not understand why people are stupid. Why do people need to make it SO hard for my kid to get what he needs???? Xavier keeps getting sick. I was told that if he continued to get sick, he'd need IVIG. I can't find my copies. The immunologist will not work with his GI dr cause he doesn't believe Xavier has a GI issue.... HELLO, biopsys don't tell you anything? Seriously. So my GI doesn't want us seeing the immunologist anymore. SO, what are our options? There are no other immunologists in Oregon for us to see apparently they all left - with the exception of the Dr we had at Kaiser, however we can't go there, I don't have Kaiser anymore, and OHP won't cover Kaiser! : / What are we supposed to do? I have a letter from his immunologist that states if Xavier gets sick with an infection such as pneumonia or whatever like that - he needs to start a course of IVIG and see an immunologist... but the pediatrician said he's not sick enough... wtf is he supposed to be dying before he gets what he needs? The immunologist we saw this year said if he had another sinus infection we were gonna start IVIM but we can't go to him, cause he won't care for him with the GI condition too.

UGH sorry if this post is all over the place....
I'm just venting, and VERY irritated.

current mood: pissed off

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Thursday, January 14th, 2010
10:49 pm - Long time no type
It's been forever and a day since I've posted anything. I keep putting it off, and here I am, with tons to say, but... not enough time to type it.

Livejournal - I will be back this weekend. To write. :)

current mood: lethargic

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Friday, May 15th, 2009
6:30 pm - NAMI walk

Feel free to check out my page... :) Donate whatever! I know times are tough, so I am not expecting much. :)

Thanks for lookin friends! :D

Have a great weekend!! :D It's almost summer!!! :D

current mood: chipper

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Sunday, April 12th, 2009
8:49 pm - Happy Birthday Robert!
Happy 8th birthday Robert! :D

current mood: loved

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Saturday, June 28th, 2008
11:14 pm - I am baaaaack!
Hey guys~
I know its been a while since I've written, and I am sure some of my LJ buds have deleted me from their lists...
I understand.

It's been a really busy time over here.. I had to leave Kaiser beginning of May, and so I have been spending much needed time with the kids, and trying to find a new job.

I will try to catch up with you my LJ friends. Please feel free to drop me a line!

Missed ya!

current mood: melancholy

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Tuesday, December 18th, 2007
1:31 am - my christmas tree :)

Get your own Greetinger

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1:24 am - health update poll----
Hey friends-
I emailed my friends/family of whom I have email addresses, and thought maybe would want me to hear about the health updates over here at home... do ya want me to post it here, or just email you?

comment me with what you want, and/or give your email address to me... :)
I'll screen comments, so your email address will be safe with me.

love ya

current mood: tired

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Sunday, November 25th, 2007
10:04 pm - Hair Show---
In September- early, can't remember the date... I think it was September! LOL :)

I participated in a Hair Show for my friend's sister's company. I was expected to show up, and let them do whatever they wanted. Originally, I had decided that No hair was to be cut, except for a slight trim, I mean come on! I had NEVER had long hair, and this was the best condition my hair has ever been in. :)
But when I got there, they said if you have major limitations, you might as well leave....
So~ when the stylists came by to speak with me, I told them do whatever you want, my hair will grow back. But I did have one request, I didn't want pixie cut, or a lighter hair color, I wanted it dark.

So- she took my hair into a pony tail- and cut it off!

Then she dyed it brown, with two other shades of lighter brown and golden blond.

It's an A line bob, that needs to be flat ironed. Since I've gotten the cut though, I have yet to flat iron it. lol :) That will change now that I have one!

:) here's the pics....

I guess this would count as a BEFORE picture. :) I use this because this is the last picture I own of my hair before the massacre. :P

Click to see the AFTER pictures!Collapse )
:) so, I'll keep you posted with more pictures, I hope to grow my hair out soon!! :D

p.s. so many people ask if the brown is my natural color cause my skin goes so well with it, I think I may stay brunette for a while! :D

love ya'll! lol

current mood: ditzy

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Tuesday, November 20th, 2007
12:36 am - Parenting Magazine Article-- xposted
xposted to aspecialparent

Hello Friends~

I was readin my Parenting magazine, as I usually do every month, and I came across the article titled:
"Are we overmedicating our kids? What if your child was so anxious she couldn't go to preschool? Or so mad she bit you and drew blood? These moms made the wrenching decision to put their kids on powerful drugs- and had to make peace with the consequences" by Margaret Renkl(the picture along with the article is a cereal bowl that has pills in it, with a spoon full of pills). While reading the headline of the article I didn't know what to expect going into the article, but after a couple lines, I realized what they were talking about.

Juvenile Bipolar disorder, and other child mood conditions.

Wow! It was a positive article, with the appropriate negative things, as in it wasn't happy the whole thing, had both sides to medicating and not medicating... Including the unfortunate overdose that occured with the little darling 4yr old last year.

All in All I was happy with the article, so much so that I wrote them. Letting them know. I even enclosed a picture of my little man, who fights a battle within himself daily.

Here is my letter, I hope you all agree with what I wrote.

"Thank you so much Parenting, for bringing this condition to light in
your magazine.
I am a parent of a child who is actually diagnosed "severe mood
disorder not otherwise specified."
Robert was 5 years old when first hospitalized after what was thought
to be an attempted suicide.
We live our daily lives much like those who were in your article, ups
and downs, no predicting the future.
I hope this article brings some support to us, the families effected
by mental illness, by showing what our lives are really like.
I know when I have to take my son to the grocery store, and he has an
one of my worries is what other people think about my son and I.
Thank you again. I really enjoy your magazine, and now I have even
more reason to!

Heidi Nicholas, mother of Robert age 6y and Xavier age 18m"

Let me know if you want me to send a copy of the article to you, or I could type it out. It was found in this months (November 2007) Parenting Magazine, its not a front cover article, I think it should have been, but I am not the editor :P

Love ya all! and I hope you all had a groovy Monday! Here's to a great Tuesday!!


this is the picture i enclosed! :)

current mood: nauseated

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Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
1:30 am - updates on my worlds
Update in Heidi Land...

Dad- He ended up in ER sooner than expected to have surgery. Ended up having surgery, and they removed the tumor that was as long as a nerf ball and twice the height of his colon. The lymphs were clean, and the liver untouched. It was miraculous, and he is saying he is already feeling better than he has felt in almost 7 years. :) He had his consultation with his oncologist today, and they will figure out a game plan for chemo and whatnot, as he still needs it even though they removed the tumor.
:) Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers. it meant alot, and I am sorry I have been so distant from my LJ buddies.

John and I- Ok, we are still seperated, we are getting a divorce. The moving thing will happen at lasted March 16th as thats the end of the 1yr lease we signed at this current apt. John and I had a couple of REALLY bad days this week, but currently we are not at each other's throats, and are being friendly and civil again. I am planning to move out closer to Hillsboro to be close to dad, and I will be living with Destiny (sister) in a 3 bedroom house/apt. I am nervous about moving Robert from his school, but I need to do what I need to do. If John decides to stay in Tigard/Tualitan area, Robert could stay at his school, but I am not counting on it, as how would he get to school everyday.

Robert- He had his adenoid surgery today, the plan was to remove them, but the ENT dr found that they were not as big as he had estimated, so he burned them down, so maybe that will help his sleep. He had a rough day, but he is sleeping soundly right now. He is supposed to be off school for a week, but we'll see about that because he's already missed too much school, and he wants to leave home... to be with friends. :) He is improving with some speech, and knows a couple math equations! :) such as 2+2=4, 2+3=5, but if you reverse 3+2 he doesn't know it... but i am thrilled with his improving... this is a kid who couldn't count to 20 in Sept. :) He is also practicing his letters, we will give him a pad of paper and pen and he will be busy writing and drawing for ever. :) That's his favorite thing to do. His newest health thing is, he may be having absence seizures... I have been bringing up his little periods where its like he is not in the room, ignoring us, but its like he's not doing it on purpose. The warmness escapes his eyes and he's very still mouth hanging open. He is due to see his neurologist in December.

Xavier- He is growing into such a little boy. He is a spunky character... running, talking, his newest addiction dancing. A song will come on and he will stand in front of the tv or radio and say "dansh!" and he will bust a move. :) He is still having lots of reflux issues, so we went to a specialist that his GI Dr referred us to. He bugged me because one apt he says he recommends to the endoscopy and then the next apt I had to starve Xavier for and then he feeds him, and Xavier doesn't choke or anything. He tells me I am not feeding him stimulating enough foods, and I don't feed him when he's hungry I just feed him all the time regardless if he's hungry which is bull. The reason he says I don't feed him stimulating enough foods is because I had mentioned Xavier rejects foods that are thick and chunky. He said I am not training him to like them, I am not giving him an oppertunity to get used to them. I feed him those all the time, well, I offer them, but he is smart, he knows he will choke it up, so hello it would feel better if it was smooth going in and out, as opposed to chunks which he does all the time. :( So I spoke with the GI nurse and explained most nights he chokes in his sleep and wakes up covered in spit up. We are doing the endoscopy December 5th and while he is out, the Dr is inserting a "PH" tube into nose that will go into stomach to measure the acidity of his spit up. We will be at OHSU doernbecher's for 24 hours. I hope this study will give us some answers!

Me- I am exhausted, my fibro is really bad, but not too bad that I am staying home anymore. I finally found some meds that work, but I am gaining weight... :( I am the heaviest I have ever been, and I am depressed about it. At the same time, everyone has said how much weight I've lost and everything. I think its water, because my ankles are swollen and stuff like that. I do appear skinnier. :( I just dont know.

Turtle- the kitty. She is getting big, but still has her spunky infant energy where she will zip from one end of the apt to the next.

Apt gossip- our maintence guy was found last couple days, and he wasn't alive. I am not here to spread it, I was just statin some stuff that I am dealin with here in the complex. :(

well, im going to try to sleep.
love you all

current mood: exhausted

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Friday, October 5th, 2007
12:10 am - TrustFlow results for hidthemyd
I tried out TrustFlow II for LiveJournal. The following people not on the friends list for hidthemyd are close by: More results below the cut...Collapse )

Created by ciphergoth; hosted by LShift.

TrustFlow II: Who is closest to your friends list?

current mood: drained

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Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007
11:51 pm - Disability Awareness month-Mental Illness awareness week

"October is Disability Awareness Month. In addition, a week in early October is usually designated as Mental Illness Awareness Week."


If you also lead/participate in any kind of support group, or just like to promote awareness, below are all the mental health-related areas recognized in October:

* Health Literacy Month: Recognized throughout the world during the entire month of October.
* National Brain Injury Awareness Month: Recognized in America and Canada throughout the entire month of October.
* Autism Awareness Month: Recognized in Canada throughout the entire month of October.
* National Down Syndrome Awareness Month: Recognized in America throughout the entire month of October.
* Mental Illness Awareness Week: October 7-13.
* World Mental Health Day: October 10.
* Bipolar Disorder Awareness Day: October 11 - Bipolar Disorder Awareness Day is held each year on the Thursday of Mental Illness Awareness Week.
* National Depression Screening Day: Also on October 11.

current mood: hopeful

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Thursday, September 6th, 2007
7:55 pm - updates on my worlds
Hey all-

A little news on my front.

John and I are still separated. Nothing changed on that part. We are still living together, and am not sure when or if that will change any time soon. It's so much more convenient for us to have it this way, especially with Robert's need for us to be here for him.
My hours in work are variable, and John's working the weekend shifts seem to make it so that we are hardly away from the boys for too long. John is search for another job, a full time one, and we are going to look into getting Social security for Robert. I can not take more hours on at work, much more, as Robert is now starting school again, and his appointments have not yet slowed down. In fact, because of his nightly nightmares his Pediatrician would like for him to have one on one therapy to discuss his dreams and whatnot. Robert is still talking about death, not as often as he was, but it's still there...
He is still self harming, not at often, but he still is. He's bitten his Xavier twice just today. When I talk to him about it, he acts as though he doesn't even realize he's done it. He gets all spacey and starts apologizing, but then he denies it. Ugh, whatever I guess.

Sorry if this is hard to read, I have been in a lot of pain for the past few days, and am being evaluated tomorrow morning by my Dr. I think it's my fibromyalgia, or anxiety from Robert starting school again. I haven't been sleeping as well, and the pain from my chest won't go away.

I am watching the movie Stranger than Fiction, it's a very good movie, I think. :)

Robert LOVES his new school. Although He's restarted his urinating problem and has already had to be restrained at school, he loves taking his lunch to school, and playing with kids who are just like him. Robert has never really had this opportunity.

And in Xavier news-- He is repeating everything we are saying, with him saying Thank you after he gets what he wants... and he tries to tickle himself, when I say tickle tickle tickle :) he's such a doll.... and he's WALKING! YAY!! I didn't know when it would happen but it did! :) He will be 17 months old on the 21st of this month. :)

-i will be posting some picture later this month if he is a yoplait yo-baby yogurt finalist... --- so you better vote for him if he is! :P

love ya alls-

current mood: sore

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Friday, August 17th, 2007
1:27 am - Turtle Blue
We have a new member in the Nicholas-Topolski house... :P

Her name is Turtle Blue- she's a spunky little kitty... she's really boosting Robert's self esteem. :)

Robert and Turtle

current mood: okay

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Wednesday, June 20th, 2007
1:04 am - summer fun!
some random pictures, and today swimmin pics...
pictures!Collapse )
i love the smell of sun screen on my boys. theres just something about the soft scent, the warmth of their skin, its so lovely. :)

current mood: thankful

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Monday, June 18th, 2007
1:01 am
$6380.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

Mingle2 - Free Online Dating

current mood: sore

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Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
10:19 pm - boob meme
Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Anna Nicole Smith

this is the largest it would let me go ... lol its not even big enough.


current mood: dorky

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